Category: 2022
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Beauty in the breakdown
Recently I was diagnosed with c-ptsd, complex post traumatic stress disorder, which came three weeks after an official ADHD diagnosis. This is a condition in which a person who has experienced multiple or prolonged traumatic events develops symptoms similar to those of ptsd, which can change the way the brain works. While this diagnosis feels…
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Settling in the truth
I’ve been peeling back layers of lifetimes to release unprocessed emotions. Trapped for a decade, it feels as if I’m going to combust. The walls begin to crack and I begin to open. The truth is raw, sharp, and uncomfortable. I am able to recognize how silenced I became and how my inability to speak…
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Sit with it
In many ways, we’ve been brought up to quiet any talk or thoughts regarding the state of our own mental health. Emotions are labeled as good and bad. As kids we are often told that we are okay rather than asked. As adults we’ve formulated a robotic response of “I’m okay” when asked. If we…
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bodies
My confidence was once through the roof and I practiced/lived in undies or a bathing suit. I had no fears of showing off my body because I was comfortable and felt safe in my skin. I had cellulite, blemishes, lumps, fat, and imperfections but I didn’t focus on those things. Post-pregnancy is a whole different…
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My love
She shows compassion as she hugs me when I say I’m not feeling well. She makes me laugh with funny jokes, looks, comments, and dance moves. She cuddles me every night before she falls asleep. She’s intuitive and knows when she’s had enough. She understands me when I speak and sometimes responds without words. She…
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Uncharted territory
I often forget how our bodies are naturally in sync with the seasons. There are periods throughout the year where my body begs for activity and there are moments when it begs for stillness. Right now I’m somewhere in between. Some days my mind wants the movement and my body doesn’t care to keep up.…
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Home practice
After one of the very first yoga classes I ever took, I heard the teacher talking to a student about cultivating a home practice. I had never heard of that term before and I tried to make sense of it for a couple of years. While I was certain that it meant practicing yoga at…
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Dark poetry
We are so quick to close the door after an experience. We allow the small details to fester and disintegrate within our own bodies and minds. But why not keep that door open and allow others to see in? Why not allow others to watch the unfolding and unraveling? Not because I think it’s important…
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Island
Darkness courses through my veins just as light emanates from my body. I see, feel, process, internalize, and communicate differently than some others, and sometimes I feel like an island. People can see my silhouette from a distance but upon getting closer they just can’t grasp the complexities of what is before them. My emotions…
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Poetic and flawed
If someone were to ask me what my yoga practice feels like, I’d probably say that it feels something like a shadow of a self portrait. Vulnerable, Elusive, Empowering, Poetic, Unconventional, Ever-changing, And extremely flawed. An eleven year relationship that continues to unfold and provide opportunities for growth. And sometimes it feels more like a…
The Sacred Body 