Category: 2022
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Dear me,
I hope one day you realize your worth. That one day you can look in the mirror and love yourself for no other reason aside from unconditional love. I hope one day you feel courageous enough to say the word no without attaching any guilt to it. And perhaps you’ll understand that guilt is a…
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Laborland
I witnessed a Birth today. Not just a metaphorical birth, but the actual birth of a child – my niece. My sister has traveled into the labor realm three separate times before today to retrieve her children, and each birth has been drastically different. I cannot speak for her experiences. I can only speak from…
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Dear Liana,
The moments I have with you will never be enough. Some days I am flustered and some days I am present, some days I feel beat up and other days I’m ready to take on the entire world. Through it all, you’re there by my side. I watch you grow, eat, experience, play, laugh, cry,…
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Unraveling
The other day I came to the realization that over the last 10 years I have been conditioned to place other people’s needs and desires in front of my own, even if that meant self betrayal or abandonment. Outside of putting myself last, I’ve also settled into survival mode where I used that conditioned behavior…
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Interconnected
Trauma is not only stored in the mind, it’s also stored in the body. In the mind we store developed coping mechanisms, learned behaviors, and habitual surfaced responses. Here in our minds, we lock in this idea of an alternate reality to feed into this fantasy that we are doing better than just okay. However…
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Cycle breaking
We navigate our hardships and think that we’re doing the hardest part by facing our demons head on. While the work you’re doing is admirable, the truth is that the hardest part follows after we chip away at our fears. Because only then do we get to fully see ourselves and get to know our…
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In flight
I’ve been on the run for a while and during most of that time I used anything outside of myself as a scapegoat for why I was running. I’d place the blame on the aftermath of a “broken” family unit or the relentless Florida heat, and made many attempts to move out of the sunshine…
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Progression
It’s been a full month since I’ve started taking medication for ADHD and I have so much to say: Being numb is not better than feeling sad or disappointed. I forgot how much I enjoyed life. I forgot how much I enjoyed having neat and decluttered surroundings. I didn’t realize the depth of darkness I…
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Depth of feeling
Growth feels like a splash of cold water running down your spine, a flailing ego that refuses to be quiet, a door slammed in your face, and thoughts that remain defiant. Growth feels like a soft smile that follows a deep sigh, a warm home-cooked meal, an intentional drop of your shoulders, and a moment…
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Angst
Dim lights, Strong voices, Vibrating electricity, Competing noises. Lip biting, Skin picking, Nail chewing, Anxiety tripping. I hear in color, And can see in sound. I feel in waves, The emotion compounds. Honing in on details, And processing words, Watching every expression, As my mind tries to learn. I feel so different, Sometimes left behind.…
The Sacred Body 