Tag: death
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If you’re not ready
Dear courageous friends, I have some insight to offer that I wish I would’ve received. If you’re being called to review your past, to unfold some layers, and check in with your younger self, please know that it’s going to hurt. I would proceed with caution if you’re not ready for expansive growth. If you’ve…
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Panic
I had a panic attack the other day. My mind wants me to believe that it came out of the blue but my heart knows that’s not true. At first it felt like my body was being constricted, in my mind conflicted. Following the pacing I hit the couch, curled up in a ball with…
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Laborland
I witnessed a Birth today. Not just a metaphorical birth, but the actual birth of a child – my niece. My sister has traveled into the labor realm three separate times before today to retrieve her children, and each birth has been drastically different. I cannot speak for her experiences. I can only speak from…
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Unraveling
The other day I came to the realization that over the last 10 years I have been conditioned to place other people’s needs and desires in front of my own, even if that meant self betrayal or abandonment. Outside of putting myself last, I’ve also settled into survival mode where I used that conditioned behavior…
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Cycle breaking
We navigate our hardships and think that we’re doing the hardest part by facing our demons head on. While the work you’re doing is admirable, the truth is that the hardest part follows after we chip away at our fears. Because only then do we get to fully see ourselves and get to know our…
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Progression
It’s been a full month since I’ve started taking medication for ADHD and I have so much to say: Being numb is not better than feeling sad or disappointed. I forgot how much I enjoyed life. I forgot how much I enjoyed having neat and decluttered surroundings. I didn’t realize the depth of darkness I…
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Fully weaned
Something that I have found to be true about motherhood is that I am never truly prepared for the next phase, whatever that may be. And that blows my mind because I am surrounded by other moms and people who have walked in these shoes before me but still I feel unprepared. As if the…
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Contrast
This year taught me all about duality- Love and hate, Light and dark, Surrender and power, Vulnerability and strength, Sickness and health, Peace and turmoil, Internal and external, Selfish and selfless, And releasing the old to welcome the new. I don’t think I have the words to truthfully convey how hard this year has been…
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Early quarantine days
*this was written in April of 2020* She won’t remember these days, but I will. The days of uncertainty that make me want to hold onto her a bit tighter. The days of being on top of each other which also makes me want space from her. The days when the collective mind is in…
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Negative attention
I used to starve myself. It began in 2008 when I was diagnosed with a handful of gastrointestinal issues. Doctors assumed I was bulimic because I often threw up the contents of my stomach as my entire body was having reactions to mostly everything that I was consuming. I was afraid to eat because I…
The Sacred Body 