Category: anxiety
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If you’re not ready
Dear courageous friends, I have some insight to offer that I wish I would’ve received. If you’re being called to review your past, to unfold some layers, and check in with your younger self, please know that it’s going to hurt. I would proceed with caution if you’re not ready for expansive growth. If you’ve…
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Laborland
I witnessed a Birth today. Not just a metaphorical birth, but the actual birth of a child – my niece. My sister has traveled into the labor realm three separate times before today to retrieve her children, and each birth has been drastically different. I cannot speak for her experiences. I can only speak from…
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Interconnected
Trauma is not only stored in the mind, it’s also stored in the body. In the mind we store developed coping mechanisms, learned behaviors, and habitual surfaced responses. Here in our minds, we lock in this idea of an alternate reality to feed into this fantasy that we are doing better than just okay. However…
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Cycle breaking
We navigate our hardships and think that we’re doing the hardest part by facing our demons head on. While the work you’re doing is admirable, the truth is that the hardest part follows after we chip away at our fears. Because only then do we get to fully see ourselves and get to know our…
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Unconditional
I find that when I try to reflect on my experience with love, it’s often shadowed by a lot of other emotions. You see, I don’t think humans know a love that dwells purely within itself. Love exists surrounded by desire, temptation, fear, abandonment, betrayal, acceptance, pain, joy, and mostly it resides deep within the…
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In flight
I’ve been on the run for a while and during most of that time I used anything outside of myself as a scapegoat for why I was running. I’d place the blame on the aftermath of a “broken” family unit or the relentless Florida heat, and made many attempts to move out of the sunshine…
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Progression
It’s been a full month since I’ve started taking medication for ADHD and I have so much to say: Being numb is not better than feeling sad or disappointed. I forgot how much I enjoyed life. I forgot how much I enjoyed having neat and decluttered surroundings. I didn’t realize the depth of darkness I…
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Depth of feeling
Growth feels like a splash of cold water running down your spine, a flailing ego that refuses to be quiet, a door slammed in your face, and thoughts that remain defiant. Growth feels like a soft smile that follows a deep sigh, a warm home-cooked meal, an intentional drop of your shoulders, and a moment…
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Angst
Dim lights, Strong voices, Vibrating electricity, Competing noises. Lip biting, Skin picking, Nail chewing, Anxiety tripping. I hear in color, And can see in sound. I feel in waves, The emotion compounds. Honing in on details, And processing words, Watching every expression, As my mind tries to learn. I feel so different, Sometimes left behind.…
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Beauty in the breakdown
Recently I was diagnosed with c-ptsd, complex post traumatic stress disorder, which came three weeks after an official ADHD diagnosis. This is a condition in which a person who has experienced multiple or prolonged traumatic events develops symptoms similar to those of ptsd, which can change the way the brain works. While this diagnosis feels…
The Sacred Body 