After one of the very first yoga classes I ever took, I heard the teacher talking to a student about cultivating a home practice. I had never heard of that term before and I tried to make sense of it for a couple of years. 

While I was certain that it meant practicing yoga at home, I could never take the initiative or find the creativity to actually commit to doing a yoga class at home. 

First came ego one the form of challenging postures.

What can I contort my body into for a good picture? How can I recreate that image I saw while mindlessly scrolling through Instagram?

There was pain from trying things I shouldn’t haven’t been doing, injuries that still follow me from not listening to my body, and I was actively trying to build a foundation on a very unsustainable ground. 

Then it shifted to more of a disciplined practice. Repetitive movements that I did day after day, building muscle memory and finding different ways to meditate (because sitting still was not something I was good at.) 

Shortly after I became a certified yoga instructor, I noticed my intentions shifted and I had a more consistent practice- mostly to prepare myself for the upcoming classes. It felt like more of a chore than a gift to myself. 

I went through phases of self connection and abandonment, trust in myself and fear from myself. I learned a lot and felt even more, only to then push away from the physical practice entirely. 

I searched for the deeper meaning of yoga, the type of yoga I could take off my mat. I found a way to practice all the time and gathered tools to carry with me. 

Breath. 

Dance. 

Repetition. 

Release. 

Visualizations.

Mind and body connection. 

The never ending journey of getting out of my head and into my body. 

So after all this time, I’ve come to a place of surrender. My home asana practice now consists of listening with the utmost attention to what my body wants when I step on the mat. Whether it be static holds in a posture, free flows, wild dancing, deep channeling, resting, loving on the cat, sitting still, crying, feeling, and just learning how to BE. 

My very first yoga class was 11 years ago and here I am still cultivating my home practice.

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