Tag: release
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Fully weaned
Something that I have found to be true about motherhood is that I am never truly prepared for the next phase, whatever that may be. And that blows my mind because I am surrounded by other moms and people who have walked in these shoes before me but still I feel unprepared. As if the…
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Life after birth
When people talk about their birth story occasionally you’ll hear a resentful tone in their voice. They might speak of their labor being too long, or maybe there were too many interventions for their liking, or it was too painful, or the epidural didn’t take, or the Pitocin made it too intense, and the list…
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Weaning
Postpartum – It literally translates to “following childbirth”, which means postpartum never ends. After I gave birth I experienced a range of emotions, anxieties, and turbulence. Mostly because of the transition into motherhood but also because of a rocky relationship and no solid foundation. All of which came together and created some really choppy waves…
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Fight or flight
I have lived in fight or flight for what seems like an eternity. Caused by a series of traumatic (to me) events and maintained by behavioral patterns and external situations. I’ve either been fighting to avoid my former self or fleeing to get away from what was triggering my current self. In turbulent times, I…
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Unruly roommate
I preach patience while pushing myself to the brink of snapping. I preach deep breaths as I hold mine in, afraid to release. I preach acceptance while begging myself to change. I preach unconditional love while only loving myself under certain conditions. I preach movement while remaining stagnant. I preach peace but I’m at war…
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Deception
Waves of words crash onto the shower breaking up the flow of thought. I’ve kept so much inside that I cannot choose a path to walk down, I feel overwhelmed. Over the years, trauma and fear have built up these stories that are fine tuned with guilt and instead of sharing that truth, I chose…
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Warning label
Stuck feelings get trapped in my chest and I feel like I’m suffocating. I try to process and it turns into avoidance. Leaning into discomfort my first instinct is to run because it resembles fight or flight and I keep telling myself that I’m sick of fighting. There are dueling voices playing in my mind…
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Silenced
I was one made to believe that I was “too much to handle”. My Emotions, Perspective, Tone, Daily struggles, Mental battles, What I wanted, What I needed, How I handled things, All of this was deemed Too Much. Your life takes a unusual shift when you find out that people who love you view you…
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Stagnation
Depression can linger behind a soft gaze, a sweet smile, a roaring laugh, and a gentle kiss. Depression can disguise itself as short breaths, nervous laughter, denial, and belly pains. Depression isn’t just sadness all the time or crying for no reason. We have taught ourselves (and been taught) so many different ways to ignore…