Tag: death
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Life after birth
When people talk about their birth story occasionally you’ll hear a resentful tone in their voice. They might speak of their labor being too long, or maybe there were too many interventions for their liking, or it was too painful, or the epidural didn’t take, or the Pitocin made it too intense, and the list…
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My daughters birthday
Throughout the pregnancy, I swore she was going to come earlier than her guess date of September 6. Clearly this was just what I wanted since I had no actual way of knowing that. The closer that day came, the more the anticipation grew. Almost to the point of becoming disappointed that I was so…
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Duality
There is a challenging duality that you face when you decide to be vulnerable. Whether it’s on your yoga mat, on the floor at home when you choose to meditate, when you’re opening up to someone, when you’re in a situation that requires you to strip it down and reveal your truth. With vulnerability comes…
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More than a mother
The other day I went into my old place of work to get some groceries. It was my first time in there without Liana in tow because I had just come from a yoga class after a week of illness. I was proud of myself for making it to class, relieved to have some alone…
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Unruly roommate
I preach patience while pushing myself to the brink of snapping. I preach deep breaths as I hold mine in, afraid to release. I preach acceptance while begging myself to change. I preach unconditional love while only loving myself under certain conditions. I preach movement while remaining stagnant. I preach peace but I’m at war…
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Life cycles (part 2)
Death is normalized in our family, and not because I intended it to be that way, but because nature intended it to be that way. While I was pregnant I was unsure of how to properly address the concept of death with a small child. My brain wanted to make a very big deal out…
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Life cycles (part 1)
A guest found me right around noon that day. She said, “One of the horses fell as they were walking out to the pasture.” I knew immediately. He was showing signs of deterioration and getting weaker by the day. Every time we discussed the idea of making the call for him, he’d perk back to…
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Beautiful chaos
When we think of duality we usually think of light and dark, how one follows or compliments the other. But when you work on an animal rescue farm, not many people piece together how duality presents itself amongst the beautiful chaos. Working with animals who have been previously neglected, ignored, misplaced, dumped, and/or abused creates…
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House on fire
I drove past a burning house last night. A blue house that was smothered in flames. The outside still maintained structure while the guts of the house were being eaten alive. I felt my heart drop as I put myself in that experience. I imagined myself watching after years and years of accumulated memories dissolved.…