Progression

It’s been a full month since I’ve started taking medication for ADHD and I have so much to say:

Being numb is not better than feeling sad or disappointed.

I forgot how much I enjoyed life.

I forgot how much I enjoyed having neat and decluttered surroundings.

I didn’t realize the depth of darkness I was actually living in.

I didn’t realize how much I would enjoy being in the school setting again.

I forgot how much I liked to learn.

I am realizing that I’m not actually afraid of people.

I can see now that a lot of my food pickiness came from sensory issues.

I don’t have to hit a wall at 4 PM every day.

I no longer feel like I have to be dependable on coffee.

There are enough hours in the day.

The sunrise is worth waking up early for every single morning.

And I forgot how special sunsets can be.

Maintaining conversations with adults is not as hard as I once believed that it was .

I don’t have to snap every time I feel overwhelmed.

It’s always okay to ask for help.

Staying silent while searching for proper words isn’t as intimidating as my mind wants me to believe it is.

I am allowed to speak my own truth without twisting it to make others comfortable.

I am allowed to feel sad for the lack of support I’ve received in my life without putting the blame on anyone.

I feel myself smiling again for no reason.

There is no shame in taking medication to help navigate mental health matters.

My love for serving and empowering others hasn’t gone anywhere, I just couldn’t feel it through the fog.

I happy-cried for the first time the other day in a very long time.

Life is challenging but those challenges don’t have to be absolutely consuming.

I didn’t realize that I’ve been carrying perfectionist tendencies for a very long time. 

I forgot how much I enjoyed hearing my own deep breath.

I forgot how powerful my voice is.

And I forgot how important it is to love myself.



Keep reading >>

Dear me,

I hope one day you realize your worth. That one day you can look in the mirror and love yourself for no other reason aside from unconditional love.  I hope one day you feel courageous enough to say the word no without attaching any guilt to it. And perhaps you’ll understand that guilt is a […]

Panic

I had a panic attack the other day. My mind wants me to believe that it came out of the blue but my heart knows that’s not true. At first it felt like my body was being constricted, in my mind conflicted. Following the pacing I hit the couch, curled up in a ball with […]

Laborland

I witnessed a Birth today.  Not just a metaphorical birth, but the actual birth of a child – my niece.  My sister has traveled into the labor realm three separate times before today to retrieve her children, and each birth has been drastically different.  I cannot speak for her experiences. I can only speak from […]

One response to “Progression”

  1. divergentexotics Avatar
    divergentexotics

    The power behind that smiling for no reason ain’t no joke.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: