Tag: 2020
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Fully weaned
Something that I have found to be true about motherhood is that I am never truly prepared for the next phase, whatever that may be. And that blows my mind because I am surrounded by other moms and people who have walked in these shoes before me but still I feel unprepared. As if the…
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Contrast
This year taught me all about duality- Love and hate, Light and dark, Surrender and power, Vulnerability and strength, Sickness and health, Peace and turmoil, Internal and external, Selfish and selfless, And releasing the old to welcome the new. I don’t think I have the words to truthfully convey how hard this year has been…
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Early quarantine days
*this was written in April of 2020* She won’t remember these days, but I will. The days of uncertainty that make me want to hold onto her a bit tighter. The days of being on top of each other which also makes me want space from her. The days when the collective mind is in…
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Multifaceted
Learning how to love myself genuinely is proving to be one of the more challenging lessons I’ve been faced with. (And I mean love, not tolerate.) There’s a difference between looking at yourself in a mirror and truly seeing yourself for who you are, flaws and all. It’s easy to fall victim to the mindset…
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Life after birth
When people talk about their birth story occasionally you’ll hear a resentful tone in their voice. They might speak of their labor being too long, or maybe there were too many interventions for their liking, or it was too painful, or the epidural didn’t take, or the Pitocin made it too intense, and the list…
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Unbecoming
When you look into the eyes of a laboring woman, it’s hard to recognize the woman you once knew. There’s an absent gaze of desperation that comes in the middle of a contraction. With that you know the woman is traveling in between realms, bouncing from reality into laborland and back again. She’s fearful, hopeful,…
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Deception
Waves of words crash onto the shower breaking up the flow of thought. I’ve kept so much inside that I cannot choose a path to walk down, I feel overwhelmed. Over the years, trauma and fear have built up these stories that are fine tuned with guilt and instead of sharing that truth, I chose…
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Weight of society
Shout out to all moms out there. Whether you’re about to give birth, have just given birth, or have given birth at some point in your life, you are a fucking warrior. Your body did the most sacred, selfless duty that required so damn much of your will power and surrender. Not only did you…
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Solidarity
Something that I have found to be true about motherhood is that I am never truly prepared for the next phase, whatever that may be. And that blows my mind because I am surrounded by other moms and people who have walked in these shoes before me but still I feel unprepared. As if the…
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January 2020
It’s been a year. A year since I decided to leave a state I loved, a man I loved, a relationship I once loved, and a life I really wanted to love. I flew back to Florida with my 3 month old baby wrapped tightly in a carrier and didn’t shed a single tear. Was…
The Sacred Body 