Author: Sami Zabner
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Variations
Your body is allowed to change. Your body is allowed to fluctuate. Your body is allowed to ebb and flow. You are not expected to look the same as you get older Your body is allowed to change. You can change your mind on the clothes you want to wear or the personal decisions you…
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New growth
Here I am. In a place that I dread coming to, in clothes that hide the slump in my spine, with fingers that are bloody, picked apart, and chewed open. Here I am. In a place that I know all too well, a place that used to scare me, and sometimes it still scares me…
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48 months
My daughter is turning 4 in three weeks. That’s four years learning each other after 9 months of connection. And that’s four years of unlearning behavior patterns to create new pathways together. It’s been almost 48 months of navigating uncharted territory together in a really overwhelming time for our society. She has no sense of…
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Introspection
I recently had a daydream about the experience of meeting myself again. It feels as if I’ve transcended through so many layers of self within the last 5 years without much time pause and regather. There are moments throughout the week where everything is still and I’m able to just be, but I immediately think…
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Deception
Waves of words crash onto the shower breaking up the flow of thought. I’ve kept so much inside that I cannot choose a path to walk down, I feel overwhelmed. Over the years, trauma and fear have built up these stories that are fine tuned with guilt and instead of sharing that truth, I chose…
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Weight of society
Shout out to all moms out there. Whether you’re about to give birth, have just given birth, or have given birth at some point in your life, you are a fucking warrior. Your body did the most sacred, selfless duty that required so damn much of your will power and surrender. Not only did you…
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Solidarity
Something that I have found to be true about motherhood is that I am never truly prepared for the next phase, whatever that may be. And that blows my mind because I am surrounded by other moms and people who have walked in these shoes before me but still I feel unprepared. As if the…
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January 2020
It’s been a year. A year since I decided to leave a state I loved, a man I loved, a relationship I once loved, and a life I really wanted to love. I flew back to Florida with my 3 month old baby wrapped tightly in a carrier and didn’t shed a single tear. Was…
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Introduction
The season is changing and so am I. Allow me to reintroduce story. My name is Sami, short for Samantha. I was born and raised in Parkland which is located in South Florida. My family was a tight unit up until around 2009 when shit hit the fan and life drastically changed. I moved out…
The Sacred Body 