Author: Sami Zabner
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If you’re not ready
Dear courageous friends, I have some insight to offer that I wish I would’ve received. If you’re being called to review your past, to unfold some layers, and check in with your younger self, please know that it’s going to hurt. I would proceed with caution if you’re not ready for expansive growth. If you’ve…
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Descriptive
Out here in the dry salt flats of Nevada, time stands still. The air is thick and dust filled. I draw a line on the windshield of my car in the exact same spot everyday to watch how many layers of dust settle here. A lingering stench of what I would imagine a bag of…
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Rapid Rebirth pt. 3
My daughter, Liana, arrived at 2:54 in the morning, on September 7, 2018, less than three hours from the start of contractions. According to the American Pregnancy Association, rapid labor is characterized by labor that can last as little as three hours, also known as precipitous labor. I had never heard of this term prior…
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Rapid Rebirth pt. 2
“Matt, Matt, wake up. I think something’s happening,” I whispered as I hunched my nude body over the side of our bed. I was dropping in and out of reality, and riding this new awareness of sensation. I felt bones shifting, muscles contracting, and electrical impulses dancing up and down my spine. This shockwave was…
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Rapid Rebirth pt. 1
Holding onto the edge of the hospital bed, I release low and guttural groans as I drop deeper into my physical body. I have been preparing for this moment for the last nine months, and now that it’s here, I am trying to catch my breath. There is no pause, no break, no moment to…
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Dear me,
I hope one day you realize your worth. That one day you can look in the mirror and love yourself for no other reason aside from unconditional love. I hope one day you feel courageous enough to say the word no without attaching any guilt to it. And perhaps you’ll understand that guilt is a…
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Panic
I had a panic attack the other day. My mind wants me to believe that it came out of the blue but my heart knows that’s not true. At first it felt like my body was being constricted, in my mind conflicted. Following the pacing I hit the couch, curled up in a ball with…
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Laborland
I witnessed a Birth today. Not just a metaphorical birth, but the actual birth of a child – my niece. My sister has traveled into the labor realm three separate times before today to retrieve her children, and each birth has been drastically different. I cannot speak for her experiences. I can only speak from…
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Dear Liana,
The moments I have with you will never be enough. Some days I am flustered and some days I am present, some days I feel beat up and other days I’m ready to take on the entire world. Through it all, you’re there by my side. I watch you grow, eat, experience, play, laugh, cry,…
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Unraveling
The other day I came to the realization that over the last 10 years I have been conditioned to place other people’s needs and desires in front of my own, even if that meant self betrayal or abandonment. Outside of putting myself last, I’ve also settled into survival mode where I used that conditioned behavior…
The Sacred Body 