Tag: story
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My daughters birthday
Throughout the pregnancy, I swore she was going to come earlier than her guess date of September 6. Clearly this was just what I wanted since I had no actual way of knowing that. The closer that day came, the more the anticipation grew. Almost to the point of becoming disappointed that I was so…
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First latch
She latched with hardly any help that morning she was put on my chest, almost as if she entered this world with a mission to find momma’s milk. Everyday we had our time together. That moment where I turn to her to empty my breasts and she turns to me looking for food. We got…
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Unbecoming
When you look into the eyes of a laboring woman, it’s hard to recognize the woman you once knew. There’s an absent gaze of desperation that comes in the middle of a contraction. With that you know the woman is traveling in between realms, bouncing from reality into laborland and back again. She’s fearful, hopeful,…
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Duality
There is a challenging duality that you face when you decide to be vulnerable. Whether it’s on your yoga mat, on the floor at home when you choose to meditate, when you’re opening up to someone, when you’re in a situation that requires you to strip it down and reveal your truth. With vulnerability comes…
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Selfish comfort
She hit her head really hard the other day and I was reminded of those intrusive postpartum thoughts that were oh so very present in the fresh weeks/months after birth. The thoughts that reminded me of how fragile life is and how little I trust myself to keep her alive. When she was an infant,…
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Unruly roommate
I preach patience while pushing myself to the brink of snapping. I preach deep breaths as I hold mine in, afraid to release. I preach acceptance while begging myself to change. I preach unconditional love while only loving myself under certain conditions. I preach movement while remaining stagnant. I preach peace but I’m at war…
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48 months
My daughter is turning 4 in three weeks. That’s four years learning each other after 9 months of connection. And that’s four years of unlearning behavior patterns to create new pathways together. It’s been almost 48 months of navigating uncharted territory together in a really overwhelming time for our society. She has no sense of…
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Introspection
I recently had a daydream about the experience of meeting myself again. It feels as if I’ve transcended through so many layers of self within the last 5 years without much time pause and regather. There are moments throughout the week where everything is still and I’m able to just be, but I immediately think…
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Deception
Waves of words crash onto the shower breaking up the flow of thought. I’ve kept so much inside that I cannot choose a path to walk down, I feel overwhelmed. Over the years, trauma and fear have built up these stories that are fine tuned with guilt and instead of sharing that truth, I chose…
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Introduction
The season is changing and so am I. Allow me to reintroduce story. My name is Sami, short for Samantha. I was born and raised in Parkland which is located in South Florida. My family was a tight unit up until around 2009 when shit hit the fan and life drastically changed. I moved out…
The Sacred Body 