Unruly roommate

I preach patience while pushing myself to the brink of snapping.

I preach deep breaths as I hold mine in, afraid to release.

I preach acceptance while begging myself to change.

I preach unconditional love while only loving myself under certain conditions.

I preach movement while remaining stagnant.

I preach peace but I’m at war with myself.

I preach body acceptance but I poke and pinch at my skin at every chance I get.

I preach about vulnerabilities while hiding behind brick walls.

I preach about community while isolating myself.

I preach about healthy living but I binge to mask the pain.

I preach to straighten your spine as I slump to cave in my heart.

I stand before a mirror and preach at myself.

But I remain my own worst enemy.

And the strongest critic lives in my mind as an unruly roommate even though I beg for a best friend.

I preach for self love,

But have yet to take the time to learn what that truly looks like for me.

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