Life cycles (part 2)

Death is normalized in our family, and not because I intended it to be that way, but because nature intended it to be that way. 

While I was pregnant I was unsure of how to properly address the concept of death with a small child.

My brain wanted to make a very big deal out of it before it was even something to deal with. 

I had no idea what career path I was going to take after becoming a single mother.

I worked as a doula and celebrated life, then as a yoga instructor and cultivated movements.

I worked with children and strengthened connection.

And now for the last 2.5 years, I’ve worked at a rescue farm and Liana has been by my side everyday for almost two years.

She’s seen sick animals, neglected animals, new babies, old seniors, predators attacking prey, and she’s watched the life cycle play out over and over again.

At first I thought I was a bad parent. 

I thought perhaps these life lessons were far too heavy for her little heart.

I tried to explain and “help” her to understand but it felt like I was only making it out to be something bigger than it needed to be.

When she felt sadness, she expressed it.

When she got angry, she expressed it.

She moved through grief so effortlessly it was as if she was teaching me how to normalize. 

Dakotas passing was hard for me.

I let her know it was coming and she said her goodbyes a week before his death.

When we got back to the farm I told her he was returned to the earth and she smiled and said, “that’s okay mom.”

And she’s right.

It’s okay.

Death is a part of life and I’m grateful to have a child’s perspective to bring me back to that understanding.

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