Tag: anxiety
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My daughters birthday
Throughout the pregnancy, I swore she was going to come earlier than her guess date of September 6. Clearly this was just what I wanted since I had no actual way of knowing that. The closer that day came, the more the anticipation grew. Almost to the point of becoming disappointed that I was so…
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Weaning
Postpartum – It literally translates to “following childbirth”, which means postpartum never ends. After I gave birth I experienced a range of emotions, anxieties, and turbulence. Mostly because of the transition into motherhood but also because of a rocky relationship and no solid foundation. All of which came together and created some really choppy waves…
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First latch
She latched with hardly any help that morning she was put on my chest, almost as if she entered this world with a mission to find momma’s milk. Everyday we had our time together. That moment where I turn to her to empty my breasts and she turns to me looking for food. We got…
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Unbecoming
When you look into the eyes of a laboring woman, it’s hard to recognize the woman you once knew. There’s an absent gaze of desperation that comes in the middle of a contraction. With that you know the woman is traveling in between realms, bouncing from reality into laborland and back again. She’s fearful, hopeful,…
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Duality
There is a challenging duality that you face when you decide to be vulnerable. Whether it’s on your yoga mat, on the floor at home when you choose to meditate, when you’re opening up to someone, when you’re in a situation that requires you to strip it down and reveal your truth. With vulnerability comes…
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Selfish comfort
She hit her head really hard the other day and I was reminded of those intrusive postpartum thoughts that were oh so very present in the fresh weeks/months after birth. The thoughts that reminded me of how fragile life is and how little I trust myself to keep her alive. When she was an infant,…
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More than a mother
The other day I went into my old place of work to get some groceries. It was my first time in there without Liana in tow because I had just come from a yoga class after a week of illness. I was proud of myself for making it to class, relieved to have some alone…
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Burning Man 2013
That one time at burning man, when everything made sense, and people were respected for who they choose to be on that day. Where everyone was grateful to share the space and time and the energy with beautiful strangers. The art came to life, and ideas became reality, and the playa dust turned into costume.…
The Sacred Body 