Category: woman
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More than a mother
The other day I went into my old place of work to get some groceries. It was my first time in there without Liana in tow because I had just come from a yoga class after a week of illness. I was proud of myself for making it to class, relieved to have some alone…
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Burning Man 2013
That one time at burning man, when everything made sense, and people were respected for who they choose to be on that day. Where everyone was grateful to share the space and time and the energy with beautiful strangers. The art came to life, and ideas became reality, and the playa dust turned into costume.…
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Fight or flight
I have lived in fight or flight for what seems like an eternity. Caused by a series of traumatic (to me) events and maintained by behavioral patterns and external situations. I’ve either been fighting to avoid my former self or fleeing to get away from what was triggering my current self. In turbulent times, I…
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Unruly roommate
I preach patience while pushing myself to the brink of snapping. I preach deep breaths as I hold mine in, afraid to release. I preach acceptance while begging myself to change. I preach unconditional love while only loving myself under certain conditions. I preach movement while remaining stagnant. I preach peace but I’m at war…
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Life cycles (part 2)
Death is normalized in our family, and not because I intended it to be that way, but because nature intended it to be that way. While I was pregnant I was unsure of how to properly address the concept of death with a small child. My brain wanted to make a very big deal out…
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Life cycles (part 1)
A guest found me right around noon that day. She said, “One of the horses fell as they were walking out to the pasture.” I knew immediately. He was showing signs of deterioration and getting weaker by the day. Every time we discussed the idea of making the call for him, he’d perk back to…
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House on fire
I drove past a burning house last night. A blue house that was smothered in flames. The outside still maintained structure while the guts of the house were being eaten alive. I felt my heart drop as I put myself in that experience. I imagined myself watching after years and years of accumulated memories dissolved.…
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10 reminders
The trauma response that the body reacts to and holds onto is sometimes very different than what the mind perceives to be “traumatic”. You and I can go through the same experience and walk away with completely different emotions. We can read the same article and have two individual opinions on the information presented. Your…
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Variations
Your body is allowed to change. Your body is allowed to fluctuate. Your body is allowed to ebb and flow. You are not expected to look the same as you get older Your body is allowed to change. You can change your mind on the clothes you want to wear or the personal decisions you…
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New growth
Here I am. In a place that I dread coming to, in clothes that hide the slump in my spine, with fingers that are bloody, picked apart, and chewed open. Here I am. In a place that I know all too well, a place that used to scare me, and sometimes it still scares me…
The Sacred Body 