Category: birth
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Unbecoming
When you look into the eyes of a laboring woman, it’s hard to recognize the woman you once knew. There’s an absent gaze of desperation that comes in the middle of a contraction. With that you know the woman is traveling in between realms, bouncing from reality into laborland and back again. She’s fearful, hopeful,…
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More than a mother
The other day I went into my old place of work to get some groceries. It was my first time in there without Liana in tow because I had just come from a yoga class after a week of illness. I was proud of myself for making it to class, relieved to have some alone…
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Life cycles (part 1)
A guest found me right around noon that day. She said, “One of the horses fell as they were walking out to the pasture.” I knew immediately. He was showing signs of deterioration and getting weaker by the day. Every time we discussed the idea of making the call for him, he’d perk back to…
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48 months
My daughter is turning 4 in three weeks. That’s four years learning each other after 9 months of connection. And that’s four years of unlearning behavior patterns to create new pathways together. It’s been almost 48 months of navigating uncharted territory together in a really overwhelming time for our society. She has no sense of…
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Deception
Waves of words crash onto the shower breaking up the flow of thought. I’ve kept so much inside that I cannot choose a path to walk down, I feel overwhelmed. Over the years, trauma and fear have built up these stories that are fine tuned with guilt and instead of sharing that truth, I chose…
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Weight of society
Shout out to all moms out there. Whether you’re about to give birth, have just given birth, or have given birth at some point in your life, you are a fucking warrior. Your body did the most sacred, selfless duty that required so damn much of your will power and surrender. Not only did you…
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Solidarity
Something that I have found to be true about motherhood is that I am never truly prepared for the next phase, whatever that may be. And that blows my mind because I am surrounded by other moms and people who have walked in these shoes before me but still I feel unprepared. As if the…
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January 2020
It’s been a year. A year since I decided to leave a state I loved, a man I loved, a relationship I once loved, and a life I really wanted to love. I flew back to Florida with my 3 month old baby wrapped tightly in a carrier and didn’t shed a single tear. Was…
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Introduction
The season is changing and so am I. Allow me to reintroduce story. My name is Sami, short for Samantha. I was born and raised in Parkland which is located in South Florida. My family was a tight unit up until around 2009 when shit hit the fan and life drastically changed. I moved out…
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Labyrinth of birth
Upon finding out that you’re pregnant, you begin to enter into a labyrinth that will lead you to birth and beyond. You walk in with big emotions ranging from utter excitement to sheer terror, knowing very well you’re entire life it about to change. Now a labyrinth is different from a maze. There’s only one…
The Sacred Body 