The moments I have with you will never be enough.
Some days I am flustered and some days I am present, some days I feel beat up and other days I’m ready to take on the entire world. Through it all, you’re there by my side.
I watch you grow, eat, experience, play, laugh, cry, sleep, wonder, and connect.
You’ve watched me find and lose myself over and over again.
This mothers bond to her daughter is unlike any sort of love that I have ever known prior to knowing you.
The first time you moved in my belly, it felt as if a wave of love had crashed ashore and that was just the beginning.
I grew you from next to nothing, felt you awaken inside my womb, I roared you into this physical existence alongside me, and together we’ve traveled from darkness to light.
And my promise to you is that we will continue to travel, continue to grow, and continue to experience this full spectrum of life.
We might fail and we might flourish, but these moments will never be enough.
You see, I didn’t know myself before I knew you.
I knew the child that I once was, the heart I frequently tapped into, and the person I wanted to be but my authenticity was covered up with layers of mud from all the experiences that had shape me over the years.
My daughter, the moment that you were born that mud began to dry. And as the pieces began to break off, I was exposed.
Underneath it all, I was beginning to see myself with all the wounds and the scabs, with all of the blood and the tears, with all of the badges and all of the raw emotion, there I was… as if you birthed me.
So while there are days where it feels like I am less than, please know this-
YOU are greater than anything and anyone I have ever tried to manifest into my life. YOU are a bright light, a wise friend, an intelligent problem solver, a humorous comedian, a lover of all creatures, and my role model. And these moments with you will be memories that I cherish for the rest of my lifetime.
When I say that these moments are not enough, I’m also trying to say that these moments are everything I could have asked for.
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