Tag: woman poetry
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Fight or flight
I have lived in fight or flight for what seems like an eternity. Caused by a series of traumatic (to me) events and maintained by behavioral patterns and external situations. I’ve either been fighting to avoid my former self or fleeing to get away from what was triggering my current self. In turbulent times, I…
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Unruly roommate
I preach patience while pushing myself to the brink of snapping. I preach deep breaths as I hold mine in, afraid to release. I preach acceptance while begging myself to change. I preach unconditional love while only loving myself under certain conditions. I preach movement while remaining stagnant. I preach peace but I’m at war…
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Life cycles (part 1)
A guest found me right around noon that day. She said, “One of the horses fell as they were walking out to the pasture.” I knew immediately. He was showing signs of deterioration and getting weaker by the day. Every time we discussed the idea of making the call for him, he’d perk back to…
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House on fire
I drove past a burning house last night. A blue house that was smothered in flames. The outside still maintained structure while the guts of the house were being eaten alive. I felt my heart drop as I put myself in that experience. I imagined myself watching after years and years of accumulated memories dissolved.…
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10 reminders
The trauma response that the body reacts to and holds onto is sometimes very different than what the mind perceives to be “traumatic”. You and I can go through the same experience and walk away with completely different emotions. We can read the same article and have two individual opinions on the information presented. Your…
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Variations
Your body is allowed to change. Your body is allowed to fluctuate. Your body is allowed to ebb and flow. You are not expected to look the same as you get older Your body is allowed to change. You can change your mind on the clothes you want to wear or the personal decisions you…
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New growth
Here I am. In a place that I dread coming to, in clothes that hide the slump in my spine, with fingers that are bloody, picked apart, and chewed open. Here I am. In a place that I know all too well, a place that used to scare me, and sometimes it still scares me…
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48 months
My daughter is turning 4 in three weeks. That’s four years learning each other after 9 months of connection. And that’s four years of unlearning behavior patterns to create new pathways together. It’s been almost 48 months of navigating uncharted territory together in a really overwhelming time for our society. She has no sense of…
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Introspection
I recently had a daydream about the experience of meeting myself again. It feels as if I’ve transcended through so many layers of self within the last 5 years without much time pause and regather. There are moments throughout the week where everything is still and I’m able to just be, but I immediately think…
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Warning label
Stuck feelings get trapped in my chest and I feel like I’m suffocating. I try to process and it turns into avoidance. Leaning into discomfort my first instinct is to run because it resembles fight or flight and I keep telling myself that I’m sick of fighting. There are dueling voices playing in my mind…
The Sacred Body 