Category: motherhood
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48 months
My daughter is turning 4 in three weeks. That’s four years learning each other after 9 months of connection. And that’s four years of unlearning behavior patterns to create new pathways together. It’s been almost 48 months of navigating uncharted territory together in a really overwhelming time for our society. She has no sense of…
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Introspection
I recently had a daydream about the experience of meeting myself again. It feels as if I’ve transcended through so many layers of self within the last 5 years without much time pause and regather. There are moments throughout the week where everything is still and I’m able to just be, but I immediately think…
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Deception
Waves of words crash onto the shower breaking up the flow of thought. I’ve kept so much inside that I cannot choose a path to walk down, I feel overwhelmed. Over the years, trauma and fear have built up these stories that are fine tuned with guilt and instead of sharing that truth, I chose…
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Weight of society
Shout out to all moms out there. Whether you’re about to give birth, have just given birth, or have given birth at some point in your life, you are a fucking warrior. Your body did the most sacred, selfless duty that required so damn much of your will power and surrender. Not only did you…
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Solidarity
Something that I have found to be true about motherhood is that I am never truly prepared for the next phase, whatever that may be. And that blows my mind because I am surrounded by other moms and people who have walked in these shoes before me but still I feel unprepared. As if the…
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January 2020
It’s been a year. A year since I decided to leave a state I loved, a man I loved, a relationship I once loved, and a life I really wanted to love. I flew back to Florida with my 3 month old baby wrapped tightly in a carrier and didn’t shed a single tear. Was…
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Introduction
The season is changing and so am I. Allow me to reintroduce story. My name is Sami, short for Samantha. I was born and raised in Parkland which is located in South Florida. My family was a tight unit up until around 2009 when shit hit the fan and life drastically changed. I moved out…
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Labyrinth of birth
Upon finding out that you’re pregnant, you begin to enter into a labyrinth that will lead you to birth and beyond. You walk in with big emotions ranging from utter excitement to sheer terror, knowing very well you’re entire life it about to change. Now a labyrinth is different from a maze. There’s only one…
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Warning label
Stuck feelings get trapped in my chest and I feel like I’m suffocating. I try to process and it turns into avoidance. Leaning into discomfort my first instinct is to run because it resembles fight or flight and I keep telling myself that I’m sick of fighting. There are dueling voices playing in my mind…
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Silenced
I was one made to believe that I was “too much to handle”. My Emotions, Perspective, Tone, Daily struggles, Mental battles, What I wanted, What I needed, How I handled things, All of this was deemed Too Much. Your life takes a unusual shift when you find out that people who love you view you…
The Sacred Body 