Category: empowerment
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Unconditional
I find that when I try to reflect on my experience with love, it’s often shadowed by a lot of other emotions. You see, I don’t think humans know a love that dwells purely within itself. Love exists surrounded by desire, temptation, fear, abandonment, betrayal, acceptance, pain, joy, and mostly it resides deep within the…
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In flight
I’ve been on the run for a while and during most of that time I used anything outside of myself as a scapegoat for why I was running. I’d place the blame on the aftermath of a “broken” family unit or the relentless Florida heat, and made many attempts to move out of the sunshine…
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Progression
It’s been a full month since I’ve started taking medication for ADHD and I have so much to say: Being numb is not better than feeling sad or disappointed. I forgot how much I enjoyed life. I forgot how much I enjoyed having neat and decluttered surroundings. I didn’t realize the depth of darkness I…
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Depth of feeling
Growth feels like a splash of cold water running down your spine, a flailing ego that refuses to be quiet, a door slammed in your face, and thoughts that remain defiant. Growth feels like a soft smile that follows a deep sigh, a warm home-cooked meal, an intentional drop of your shoulders, and a moment…
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Angst
Dim lights, Strong voices, Vibrating electricity, Competing noises. Lip biting, Skin picking, Nail chewing, Anxiety tripping. I hear in color, And can see in sound. I feel in waves, The emotion compounds. Honing in on details, And processing words, Watching every expression, As my mind tries to learn. I feel so different, Sometimes left behind.…
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Beauty in the breakdown
Recently I was diagnosed with c-ptsd, complex post traumatic stress disorder, which came three weeks after an official ADHD diagnosis. This is a condition in which a person who has experienced multiple or prolonged traumatic events develops symptoms similar to those of ptsd, which can change the way the brain works. While this diagnosis feels…
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Settling in the truth
I’ve been peeling back layers of lifetimes to release unprocessed emotions. Trapped for a decade, it feels as if I’m going to combust. The walls begin to crack and I begin to open. The truth is raw, sharp, and uncomfortable. I am able to recognize how silenced I became and how my inability to speak…
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Negative attention
I used to starve myself. It began in 2008 when I was diagnosed with a handful of gastrointestinal issues. Doctors assumed I was bulimic because I often threw up the contents of my stomach as my entire body was having reactions to mostly everything that I was consuming. I was afraid to eat because I…
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Alternative storytelling #15
Waves crash, words break, sunlight dances on my skin. Feelings pass, emotions shake, and I dive deep within. There are textures, sounds, stillness, and peace, and on the flip side, there is destruction. But here I sit, surrendering to all of it, as the ocean charms me with her seduction. *photos taken by me*
The Sacred Body 