Author: Sami Zabner
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Fight, flight, or freeze
I’m relentlessly tossed around in the rush of a wave pool (constructed by my own choices) begging for the machine to turn off. Lifeguards watch from the sidelines, mistaking my fearful face with a face of adrenaline. I want to get out. I can’t gain my footing even though the ground isn’t far from my…
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Multifaceted
Learning how to love myself genuinely is proving to be one of the more challenging lessons I’ve been faced with. (And I mean love, not tolerate.) There’s a difference between looking at yourself in a mirror and truly seeing yourself for who you are, flaws and all. It’s easy to fall victim to the mindset…
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Limited language
There are times when I want to claw my skin off. Not necessarily to get rid of the skin that I wear but more so to release what I feel is trapped inside. I have found that words cannot properly express what it is that I’m trying to convey, and because of that I feel…
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Wildfire
Some days I describe myself as a wildfire. I am a flame moving with the wind clearing the path behind me. As the oxygen feeds into my flame, I grow more powerful. When the wind picks up I unexpectedly shift directions, jumping over puddles and rivers and lakes. Behind me is scorched earth; a burnt…
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Boundaries
I never knew of boundaries when I was younger. That word didn’t really exist in my vocabulary. Our family, and close knit community, was seemingly nonchalant and carefree about boundaries (or lack thereof). In fact, I’m not sure I even heard that word (used in such a context) until I was in my 20’s and…
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Alternative storytelling #8
In all honesty, I am speechless when it comes to trees. Enjoy these pictures of trees in the Pacific Northwest & happy Sunday. **all photos were taken by me**View post to subscribe to site newsletter.
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Alternative storytelling #7
Rocky terrain. **all photos were taken by me**View post to subscribe to site newsletter.
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Surrendering
It never fails. I get Liana to sleep, curl up in bed next to her, and start asking myself the heavy questions that I try to avoid all day. Am I doing enough? Have I done right by her today? Do you think she knows I love her? Could I have changed the way I…
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Life after birth
When people talk about their birth story occasionally you’ll hear a resentful tone in their voice. They might speak of their labor being too long, or maybe there were too many interventions for their liking, or it was too painful, or the epidural didn’t take, or the Pitocin made it too intense, and the list…
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My daughters birthday
Throughout the pregnancy, I swore she was going to come earlier than her guess date of September 6. Clearly this was just what I wanted since I had no actual way of knowing that. The closer that day came, the more the anticipation grew. Almost to the point of becoming disappointed that I was so…
The Sacred Body 